What a difference 2 children make versus 1! My oldest (We will call him Lu) was so sweet and calm, if anyone took a toy away from him he would kind of just stare at them like "dude! That was mine" and then move on. But my little guy (We call him Bubby), at nearly 14 months, already knows how to fight! I'm caring for my friends baby this morning and they are close in age. He is 8 months (same size! haha), and Bubby is already taking toys away from him, and even tried swatting at him! I'm not used to this! But I guess as a little brother you learn to stick up for yourself quick. Even if it isn't actually "sticking up". Lu used to be the BEST big brother. I would brag about him. He would give his baby kisses, bring him toys, introduce him to everyone, and he would tell us "I love this baby SO much." I was such a proud mama. Then Bubby turned around 7-8 months old and things started slowly changing. He was still pretty immobile. He wasn't interested in crawling yet like Lu was at this age. So I would often sit him down and toss a few toys his way so I could get a few things done. Yeah right... I would come back into the room and every single toy would be as far away from him as possible, thanks to Lu. And it's just gotten worse from there. Bubby is now crawling and climbing like a champ. Lu is always instigating. Bubby can get all the toys he wants now and Lu hates this. He doesn't want to share ANYTHING. It could be a toy he hasn't noticed in months, but if Bubby touches it... he claims to have had it first. I know its just a 3yo phase. But I'm over it. All done! Both my babies have been so sweet. Fairly calm, happy babies. But add a big brother to the happy baby and let the screaming begin. Let's get one thing straight. It is NOT terrible two's. Age 2 is wonderful. Enjoy it. Age 3 sucks. I love him to death. But man he sure does test me daily. Still haven't figured out how to "do" age 3. I'll work on it and get back to you. Luckily we are exactly (today!) half way through with with age 3.

Good Evening

It's late. I've had coffee too late and should be asleep. But I'm not. I recently decided I'd like to blog again. I have learned so much in the last 2 years and I have a LOT to share. And I have a lot more to learn. So here is me... I'm Brooklyn. I am nearly 25. I have TWO boys now, ages 3 and 1. Man time flies! After living in AK for 3 years with my husband, we divorced and me and my (at the time) 2yo and pregnant belly moved back to NH to be with my family. I've found LOVE. Like the real kind. Not only with my 2 sweet boys, but with a MAN, thats right a MAN. The true definition of a man. He LOVES my boys. He was there for the birth of my second son and was amazing, (more on that later). I am a once carnivore, now wannabe vegan. (I'm SO not there yet. but I WANT to be). I have lots of passion for birth, health, green living, gentle parenting (but to be honest, I need some REAL work in this area), simple living, cloth diapering, and much more. I'm overweight, in the process of starting my career, and definitely need some new like minded friends. Since moving to NH I've reconnected with high school friends and that's great. But to be honest, nothing replaces the ladies I met through the military. I will have a bond with them for life. The playdates were amazing. Sounds silly, but I loved them. I always had people I could count on. And while I know I have a couple people I can count on here, it's still not the same. I will always have a special place in my heart for Alaska. So this may be a little random, but at least I'm writing, it feels good. I want to keep it up! Good Night!

Emotional

Sometimes I'm so overwhelmed with emotion that I don't know whether to fight or flee. I want to stand my ground and defend my opinion to the max. But I also want to give up because it seems like nothing I say will really matter or get through to people. I'm still learning. Still learning to remain calm and listen to everyone with their different opinions. I'm so passionate. I feel like as a mother I have learned SO much. My whole life did a 180 when I had my first son. My life began. I now know what I want to do with my life and definitely feel I have a purpose... even beyond my role as a mother. I want to change the world. And its so defeating that I know I won't. It makes me want to give up. It also makes me want to go back to a simpler time. I often "joke" with my boyfriend about moving to a cabin in the woods and living like hippies. Growing our own food, and teaching our children to enjoy the earth.

Revamped!

So... typical resolution style I've changed my name and theme of this blog....yet again. I promise you this being January 1st is not what brought me here!
Since I've had Cooper my life has changed dramatically! For the better! I'm really loving be a mom and everything that has seemed to fall into my lap by association. It's amazing looking at what type of mother I thought I would be and what I am now. IMO I'm waaaayyyy better! I started off thinking I needed to make sure not to hold my baby too much so that he didn't get too attached. I thought that I needed to make sure not to sleep with him so he didn't depend on me. I also thought cloth diapers were nasty. But after I had him something changed. I followed my motherly instincts and it was the opposite of most of what I originally thought. I am now a cloth diapering, toddler nursing (possibly baby led weaning), baby wearing, semi-co-sleeping, Natural and Gentle parenting Mama! And proud!! But its taken baby steps to get here! I love talking about it. I update facebook so much I'm sure some people delete me on grounds that I just litter their news feed! I've meet so many "crunchy" mamas this last year and a half! Its awesome. My life is pretty awesome and I just want to make it even better! So... for those 2 of you that may happen to read this.. stick around! And give me feedback! I will write!!! IT's 2011 and this is going to be a great year!

Our Paleo Journey Begins

Ok I'm a little late on this. BUT we did it. We have gone Paleo. We cleaned out the pantry, freezer and fridge. We probably gave away about (cringe) $200 worth of food! But at least we gave it away and didn't throw it away. So besides from a few packages of crackers and a little whole wheat pasta (For the baby). We are Paleo friendly! We have completed day 3! It's been super yummy so far! And it totally amazes me that we are almost out of veggies! We were always throwing out veggies before because they just didn't get eaten. Now we are always munching on snap peas, grapes, carrots, and olives! We are both feeling great. It has been a very positive experience for our marriage as well. Not fighting as much, doing things for each other, cooking together, and really bonding over this new lifestyle we've created.

Personally I have my inner battles. But I've won them all so far! It's more like thinking about having a treat after dinner. I miss it. But I recognize I miss it and then dismiss it because I DO NOT NEED IT! It feels powerful to overcome these feelings. Although I have to admit I'm not sure I'd be as strong without my husband by my side.

Originally I wasn't going to include fruit in my diet because the main reason I started this was to loose weight (with becoming healthy being a close 2nd!) But I have been eating fruit. But I figure that everything I'm doing is great so far and maybe if I don't start loosing or I hit a plateau then I will consider cutting it out. But I'm happy for now with what I'm doing. I've gotten a couple emails from fellow facebookers interested in learning more! It's so encouraging! People being interested and following my journey just makes it that much harder for me to fail! So to future followers -Thank you!

Ok... For real.

I'm back... not that I have any followers at this point (Except you Emily!) But I am going to need this. I am going Paleo! In about 5 days! I'm excited... but also totally not excited. I'm preparing! I've been writing down recipes and snack ideas so I have no excuses. I love cheese. Oh how I will miss cheese! But I am ready to loose weight! And get healthy! I'm hoping this is the change that I really need. It will be hard if I continue with making cakes. But I'm ready. Kevin said that is going to commit to the first 30 days with me! I know that will make it easier. I'm off to do some more research!

Weight Loss update #5

Not really and update...more of like a downdate... I haven't weighed myself and I don't want to. I haven't been excersizing. And I've been eating eh... ok I guess. Not great and not horrible. I have just been in a huge slump.. I look in the mirror and really don't like what I see... That should make me want to do something but it doesn't. I just want to sit and cry. It's so hard! There are so many encouraging people around me and it just doesn't matter. I keep making excuses to myself too. Like that I'm still breastfeeding so I can't cut calories. I've been napping a lot lately too. I've just been tired. And unmotivated.
I've been thinking of putting up visual aids in my life. Like pictures of what I want to look like. And eating reminders. ugh... that's it for now.